How To Do Your Inner Work

The hard truth we all have to accept is that if we want a life that feels aligned, alive, and expansive, we have to say yes to our own inner growth.

And when it comes to inner growth, we’re not short on information.

Every day there’s a new method, study, or framework promising to change everything.

I’ve chased plenty of them.

But after fifteen years of doing this work, I’ve learned it inner work really comes down to three things.

Self-awareness. Self-regulation. Self-compassion.

Let me break it down for you.

Self-awareness is noticing what you’re feeling without getting stuck in it. This is where choice lives.

It’s in this space you can respond instead of react.

Ever walk away from a heated conversation and immediately regret what you just said? Me too. Self-awareness changes that.

Self-regulation is about grounding yourself when your emotions start running the show.

Every time you do it, you’re showing your body, “We’re safe, even when things are hard or uncomfortable.”

And the safer you feel in the hard moments, the more space you have to feel the good ones.

If self-awareness and self-regulation are the vehicle, then self-compassion is the fuel.

This means giving yourself kindness when you don’t show up the way you wanted to.

Sometimes we do things that mess up what we really want, not because we’re bad, but because we think it will keep us safe.

Like not speaking up in a meeting because you’re afraid of looking silly.

You’re not trying to ruin your chance—you’re trying to protect yourself from feeling hurt.

Self-compassion lets you see that, and from there, you can choose a better way next time.

After all, you can never criticize yourself into a life that you love.

These three practices are simple, but they can unlock possibility in every facet of your life.

Pick one and be intentional with it over the next couple of weeks. I promise you—it changes the game.

Or, if you want to go deeper, I put together a very short course, Unstriving 1.0, covering exactly this.

It breaks down each one and shows you how to work them into your everyday life.

You can check it out here.

As always, I'm rooting for you. We're in this together.